


Headfirst for Halos

by funkypunkskeleton



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Frerard if you squint, Sad, Short Story, it's so very short, just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 01:30:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4460096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkypunkskeleton/pseuds/funkypunkskeleton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Days had passed since... it happened, and Gerard still couldn't believe it. He didn't want to -- it would make it all too real, official. Just thinking it made his head pound, his ears ring, his heart ache: His best friend was dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Headfirst for Halos

_**September 2, 2003** _

 

It was beautiful.

It was sleek and black, the slightly rounded top carefully littered with blood-colored roses and the petals that had become loosened. The metal handlebars were silver and curved elegantly around the edges of the rectangular confinement that was draped with white satin on the inside. There weren't any fingerprints whatsoever, and it shined brightly from the glare of the lights hanging high from the chapel ceiling. However, the only downside to its beauty was the lifeless body laying in the funerary box.

Against his wishes, a man named Gerard Way was seated in the front row of pews next to the deceased's mother, her hand tightly wrapped around his own with a near bone-cracking grip as they both stared unblinkingly ahead with unfocused gazes. He wanted ask for her to loosen her hold, but he couldn't bring himself to. So instead, Gerard offered what little comfort he could manage, and squeezed the woman's hand gently, to which she responded with looking over at him with a broken smile and tucking a strand of his unruly black hair behind his ear.

"I miss him, Linda," Gerard whispered to the woman, his voice wavering slightly because he was keeping his emotions bottled up inside of his chest, locked in his heart that clenched painfully with each pounding beat it made. Despite the fact his expression was completely blank, his hazel eyes were an open book, betraying the depth of his emotions to anyone that cared to look into them.

Linda's eyes became glassy with tears, and she cupped Gerard's jaw in her hand, rubbing the pad of her thumb over the tear-crusted skin of his cheek. "He is a good soul, which we all will miss," she said softly.

Gerard's lips slightly twitched at that her words. He swallowed and blinked as his only response, not certain if anything else he said would be coherent, then looked away from the brokenhearted woman, unable to stare any longer at the pain written clearly across her face. He took in a deep breath and stared at his hands, shakily exhaling at a slow pace.

Linda patted his hands, and then gripped one of them with a comforting squeeze like he had given her. She leaned close, then whispered, "Tears are words the heart can't express." Gerard gave her a pleading look to stop, and although Linda saw the desperate unspoken words written in his eyes, she continued on. "It's okay to cry right now, Gerard, because everyone here is upset. Maybe not as much as us, but their feelings are similar."

"Are they really?" Gerard questioned skeptically, suddenly feeling anger swell in his chest. He wouldn't cave in to what his body wanted and allow himself to cry like some of the other people there; they'd see just how much pain he was really in and give him pity, which he really did not want to get from them—who would want it? "Are their feelings actually similar to yours? To mine? They probably feel _pity_ , not grief. But, I don't want them to feel that. I'd just rather they didn't give us unneeded sympathetic emotions that are meaningless to not only me, but you as well." He looked away then, staring ahead with a hard expression.

Linda sighed. "I understand where you're coming from with this, Gerard. I know you're in pain—it's clear in your eyes, even though you've masked your face—but you have to be strong, honey."

" _I_ have to be strong? What about you? You're...you _were_ his mother."

"He wouldn't have wanted me to grieve over his death," Linda answered, and then looked ahead with a blank expression of her own.

Before Gerard could mutter out a reply, the vicar asked the crowd of people in the large room, "Does anyone here have some words they'd like to share about Frank Iero?"

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this—man, two years ago? I've been meaning to finish it, but I don't think I ever will. There wasn't really a plot, just a lot of sadness and angst, and I can't bring myself to write anything more because of that.
> 
> I decided to post it now because I've always wanted to share it but I was waiting to get it completely finished before doing so. But seeing as I probably won't now, it didn't feel right just leaving this part hanging there when it was all ready and everything.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it. :)
> 
> (Comments are greatly appreciated, yes.)


End file.
